Saturday, February 14, 2009

You breathed infinity into my world

Two beautiful glimpses into the complexity of a favorite subject in honor of this Day of Love.

Wishing you a happy St. Valentine's Day.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

- Pablo Neruda

But oh, now... my world is at your feet.
I was lost and I was found, but I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
So they can tell me I was wrong.

- Missy Higgins "They Weren't There" (The Sound of White)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Like ripples on a blank shore

A man who keeps a diary, pays
Due toll to many tedious days;
But life becomes eventful--then
His busy hand forgets the pen.
Most books, indeed, are records less
Of fulness than of emptiness.

- William Allingham

This certainly holds for me re: this blog... and every other bit of writing I could be working on instead of dealing with the ins and outs of this life. :)

I'm still mourning the loss of so many beloved trees due to our recent ice storm. I find this video oddly fitting. The song is possibly my very favorite of 2008; the band is in my all-time top 10.

I had a busier, wilder week than usual, which ended with a distressing yesterday. Today I'm spending a quiet day by myself (intentionally), walking around my city with my camera and iPod, both of which are choke-full of new gorgeousness. Tonight after my workout, I'll curl up with my book while dinner simmers on the stove. Then I think I'll light a candle and remember and ponder and plan.

I'm craving pickles and peanut butter on toast. Strange.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

I don't always feel lucky, but I'm smart enough to try.

I don't think it's much of a secret to anyone who knows me even in passing that I'm almost always up for some Ani DiFranco tuneage. I particularly haven't been able to get this "song"/poem out of my head after a notably difficult week of co-occurring illness and the worst ice-storm to hit my area in recent memory. Our electricity and heat were out for days on end, and in the end we have a fridge + two freezers of spoiled food (a wasteful hassle for us rather than a deep financial blow, blessedly), a damaged roof (relatively minor, but stressful nonetheless) and a devastated yard full of century-old oak trees (deeply heartbreaking beyond what I would have expected).

I've been very lucky. This storm has claimed dozens of lives. My household and I -- and my local family and friends -- are safe, sound and, all told, only minimally scathed. Now, I've been known to take myself too seriously on more than a few occasions, but the accumulated weight of dealing with all this while trying to keep on living my life conscientiously has gotten a little heavy, and I found myself seeking out some reference points to make it all feel manageable once again. Enter Miz D.

Another favorite.

"I'm cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hand
The ship is pitching and heaving, my limbs are bobbing and weaving
And I think this is something I understand
I just need a couple vaccinations for my far-away vacation
I'm going to go ahead and go boldly because a little bird told me
That jumping is easy, that falling is fun
Right up 'til you hit the sidewalk, shivering and stunned"
- Ani DiFranco "Swandive," Little Plastic Castle